November 2008
1 post
October 2008
51 posts
Needle’s Eye
I wish I were as big as a basketball hoop. It is actually painful to be this fine. It is like squinting for no reason, all night, choosing the pain of squinting over going to sleep. And yet what does it matter how big a target you are? Someone somewhere will invent a game to make you hard to hit.
Y: hey i am all set to go
see you in 10 + 4 + 1.5 + 11 hrs = 26.5 hours
but for me only twelve hours on the clock
"noon thursday"
i love you
i can't wait
8=8
!!!
Thursday
Cancer again. All sorts of horrible things. Anxiety at a pitch level, a level that hasn’t been seen in about four/five years. The heart-rate like a rodent about to be swallowed up, the extremities tingling and foreign, the throat both tight and sore, the hyperalertness to all peripheral signs of doom. No fun at all. But:Thursday. All will be well.
What shark??
But most times it takes just one person who is truly afraid to show what they feel getting an opportunity they never thought possible.
What took you so long?
If you thought that was long, you have no idea what you’re in for.
Say it.
Say what? I’ll say anything.
Say those three words you wanted me to say.
Are you kidding?
Not quite… Eight letters. Three syllables. Say them...
OH MY GOD
I was wrong. It is awesome.
Gossip Girl
Except: this is the first time it made me cry. Treacle is good like that. Trade-off?
Gossip Girl
I think it’s starting to jump the shark. Just the first hints. Why do people have to grow up? Why do they have to go to college? How did it already become senior year?
Grass, green
S: you want to know what magazine hell truly is?
X: i do indeed
S: my friend/ex-roomate catherine is an editor at [ ], and this is her status msg right now
"are you a presidential look-alike? we want your photo"
X: thank you
thank you for sending that
S: there but for the grace of god & all that
Friendship
X: so you would pull me out of the fire then
S: dude, in a choice between you and my MOTHER i'd have to give it some serious thought. i'd take your side as a matter of general principle
Future Perfect
X: colin powell endorsed obama
Y: yeah i saw
hooray
this is good
X: so exciting
Y: hopefully obama will win
then we will be together and obama will be president
and we can lay on your couch with the dogs
beneath the blanket
and enjoy the obama presidency
“There are only a thousand people in the world; the rest are robots.”
I’m in cancer-collating mode. Never a good sign about what the brain is doing. But it seems I do not have bladder cancer. That’s good. That’s good, right?
About my name:
1. 50% of the letters are vowels, which puts me in the 97.8 percentile of one million names surveyed for envowelment.
2. In ASCII binary:
01000100 01100001 01110010 01101001 01100001 00100000 01010110 01100001 01101001 01110011 01101101 01100001 01101110
3. Backwards, I could be a Hungarian sheep farmer or a Czech dissident: ...
How many ways do I hate this? Many ways.
ArtVenture Freedom to Create Prize
Finding light in darkness and courage in truth.
ArtVenture, in association with ARTICLE 19, is proud to launch the inaugural ArtVenture Freedom to Create Prize. This international prize will recognise artists who use their talents to promote human rights, including the freedom of expression, empathy, equality and understanding
In all societies, the development...
“My little dog—a heartbeat at my feet.”
– Edith Wharton
I have the best boyfriend ever
soon it will be night here and morning there and i will call you. it doesn’t seem long now at all before i’ll be in LA, pulling you into me / feeling your weight on top of me / looking in your eyes looking in my eyes / resting in your arms and still not close enough … i think of you constantly and see you everywhere i look.
Along with fake Scrabble, I am thinking much of Halloween. Why is unclear. But I am thinking specifically of my costume, of Clockwork Orange—a slut Alex—and figuring out what I need. White bodysuit, check. Black heels, check. Bowler hat, codpiece, white suspenders, nope. But it occurred to me that since the codpiece in the movie is white(ish), and since it looks more or less like...
Memo to the Agarwalla Brothers
I know I begged you to settle your lawsuit with Hasbro fast, so that those of us with serious Scrabulous joneses could return to to world of the right and the good, but now I see oh so clearly: you have ruined me. Lexulous, nee Scrabulous, is all I think of, those neatly arranged two-letter words—the qis and the tis, the nus and the ois—clicking delicately into place, the satisfaction...
Oh, but Matt’s right: Jews shouldn’t dress up as black people for Halloween. That means no Beyonce either.
Pretty
Stay with me. I want to be you.
In this burning country
words have to be shade.
—Yehuda Amichai
Serein
Fine rain falling from an apparently cloudless sky, typically observed after sunset.
Beggars can't be choosers
U.S. Removes North Korea From Terror Blacklist
WASHINGTON — The Bush administration announced on Saturday that it was removing North Korea from a list of state sponsors of terrorism and said the country had agreed to adhere to concessions on its nuclear program, in a bid to salvage a fragile nuclear deal that seemed on the verge of collapse.
Klahowya!
Failte Romhat!
Ni sa bulla vinaka!
Celebrity Stalker
Man, Sarah Silverman is hot in real life. It’s so strange who turns out to be hotter in real life than on the screen and vice versa. Keanu Reeves was blah, David Duchovny—even with extra chits for a) checking me out and b) being a sex addict—was shrimpy and actory. Anthony Edwards, who I just sat next to, was gangly and bald and unpretty. And then Sarah Silverman walks into Soy...
Insomnia
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy??
Forget sex: I miss you. Just now I was thinking about sex (with you) and reading the Wikipedia pages of randomish people whose lives I suddenly became curious about. And suddenly I imagined us having a perfect, happy life.
Who knew?
Enough back-to-back episodes of 30 Rock, a pack of gum, a container of kimchi, a container of red caviar (on sale), an orange, a container of honeydew melon, an apple, and a feta-cheese-and-avocado salad, and you almost forget about sex. Almost.
Sex redux
Weird, weird dream. Guilty dream. One of those sex-filled, langorous ones, the kind you have when you’re not really asleep but napping uncomfortably on the couch. Something just out of reach—something delicious or sexually exciting, like cake or a body part. Not knowing if you’re imagining it or if, during some endless looping calculation in the part of you that’s still not...
“A billion here and a billion there, and soon you’re talking about real...”
Not bad, Virginia Woolf
Language is wine upon the lips.
My own brain is to me the most unaccountable of machinery - always buzzing, humming, soaring roaring diving, and then buried in mud. And why? What’s this passion for?
Really I don’t like human nature unless all candied over with art.
Sleep, that deplorable curtailment of the joy of life.
I like this sentence
Gold-digging on the part of foreign leaders is a perennial pastime here in late September…
I just returned from an event, where, by my standards, I was catatonic. “You seem tired,” Gilly said. But I wasn’t. Everything annoyed me, even the interesting people made me weary—not them, but the arc of conversation and the work that it implied. Increasingly I don’t like to leave my apartment, but I’m no more productive than people who don’t. It’s...
I wonder why I have such an affinity for dogs with big flat faces. Also I wonder why I think about dogs so much. Is it possible, as I suggested to [ ] in an email, that dog psychology is a distillation of human psychology, which is why I like it? Or does that not give me enough credit? And I wonder, if dogs could speak, would I like them more or less?
If you keep complaining about people calling you, eventually they will stop calling you, and then you will feel upset that you have no friends.
TO-DO LIST
1. DIY Surgery
2. Political Porn (VP or P, TBD)
3. Subway..
4. Move
5. Write a Book
6. Canine Collection
I wonder where you are right now. You’re so far away, in so foreign a place, that I can’t even imagine what you’re looking at when you’re talking to me on the phone. I can’t picture what you’re describing, because it’s so different to anywhere else I’ve been. I’m happy for you that you’re on an adventure, but I can’t help but feel...
I’ve got that crazy carousing feeling, the one that makes think of myself as an animal, the one where I could do anything, anything—rip the throat out of a forest creature, punch a guy in the face, steal secret documents for the government, throw myself on top of a stranger, smear myself in cake. It’s blood and sex and gore and fluids, it’s ambient aggro, the kind that...
S*E*X
Oh, sex. It’s been so long. Sex. Sexy sex. Brain-chemistry-altering sex. Sweaty sex. DVD-worthy sex. VHS-worthy sex. It will be weeks—weeks!—before we are reunited.
When you’re not having it you don’t miss it (and thank god for that) but then you do have it, again and again, and then the sex up and goes to China.